How Romance Scams Turn Into Financial Disasters — And the Red Flags To Watch For
With the proliferation of technology and online dating, romance scams are on the upswing in the United States.
The Associated Press reported that, in 2025 alone, 49,000 people lost $1.3 billion to fraudsters posing as their soulmates—a 14% increase since 2024. It has, therefore, never been more important to learn how to protect yourself.
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6 Stages of a Romance Scam
What is the anatomy of a romance scam and how do they turn into financial disasters? On an episode of RomConned, Jean Le Roux, senior analyst at Graphika, explained most romance scams have a predictable structure:
1. The Bait
Via dating apps, social media or “wrong number” texts, an attractive person typically reaches out wanting to chat. Psychologically, social media has conditioned people to readily engage with strangers, so nothing feels particularly off.
2. Info Gathering/Relationship Building
Over many months, the scammer makes you feel validated and loved by sending frequent goodnight and good morning texts. They get to know you and ask about your family and your hobbies. They are slowly gaining your trust and learning which emotional levers to pull later. (Unknowingly, you may actually be talking to a collective of individuals).
3. The Hook
This is the money ask. The scammer will suddenly have a medical emergency for which they need money or they will tell you about an “exclusive” opportunity on an investment platform owned by their uncle. Your confidence in them now replaces caution, making you more susceptible. They may even repay you or demonstrate financial returns after the first transaction, “proving legitimacy” and laying the foundation for larger money asks.
4. The Escalation
Exploiting basic, human needs, the scammer says they want to meet your family and envisions you getting married someday.
5. The Tag-Team
Once you have no more money to give them, the scammer gets you to ask your friends and family. They can earn money from the investment platform, too.
6. The Collapse
When it’s time to withdraw your money or get paid back, there’s an “error” with the platform or bank. Victims realize their money is gone—unable to be recovered by banks because it was voluntarily given.
Are Romance Scams Targeted or Random?
Most of the time, these are random. Scammers are playing a numbers game. If an individual works for a large corporation (and is presumed to have money), however, he or she can be targeted.
Who Is Most Susceptible?
Almost anyone can be susceptible. However, John Wilson, senior fellow of threat research at Fortra, stated unusually lonely people or those unaware of online dangers are most at risk. This can include those recently widowed or divorced, as well as the elderly.
Red Flags
There is not one, obvious red flag; instead, there is a pattern of behavior taken together:
Someone wants to have a relationship “from afar.” Per Justin Fernandez, founder at ScamDrill, this can include military officers, businessmen or traveling nurses.
The individual can never meet in person; when they can, it always falls through.
They typically have no established history on other online platforms.
They become offended when you doubt something they say.
The cadence of their messages appears slightly off. This is indicative of AI.
You are accidentally sent a message in another language.
They try to get you to move off the dating or social media app very quickly.
Per Le Roux, communication from the scammer quickly becomes part of your daily routine and the relationship progresses unusually fast.
They are always emotionally available.
They mirror your values.
They suddenly open an “exclusive” money-making opportunity to your friends and family.
They ask for money or want you to click on a link.
This article was provided by MoneyLion.com for informational purposes only and should not be construed as financial, legal or tax advice.
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